There was a documentary titled “Catfish” which is about internet relationships. Now there is a television show on MTV that follows up on the theme. According to the episode that I saw, some people create false profiles on social media sites. It is a shame that no one told Manti Te’o, the Notre Dame football player who was the victim of a hoax, to beware of such dangers of social media. As it turned out, Manti’s attractive girlfriend did not exist. She was made up by a male pretending to be a young woman. How disappointing for Manti to mourn the death of a girlfriend who never died because she never lived, except in the imagination of the hoaxster, and, consequently, in the imagination of Manti.
Well, if Manti will watch the TV show Catfish, he can be comforted by knowing he is not the only naive person to be fooled into falling for a person who is not real. Misery loves company, they say, and there is reported to be lots of misery caused by tricksters on the internet.
You should probably be suspicious if you see on the internet photos of a beautiful woman or handsome man, correspond with such person, but find the object of your affection is unavailable by phone and avoids meeting you in person. Actually, Manti did talk on the phone with his fake girlfriend, but never actually met her.
One way the guys on Catfish uncover frauds is to use a tool called Google Image Search, which has produced unhappy results when the beautiful image is another person rather than the name using the image. For example, a homely man could steal Brad Pitt’s image from any of a number of them that appear on the internet and post it on his Facebook as his own. Women who think the Facebook guy looks like that might contact that homely man, whose picture they are not seeing, and want to chat on Facebook with a person who looks like Brad Pitt. Of course, Brad is well known so that would probably not work. What happens is that the fakers find some attractive person, male or female, who is not well known and use that image as their own, expecting no one to recognize the person in the photo who the faker desires to look like.
Understanding the process caused me to fear for the misuse of my own image. So I “googled” my own image to see if anyone was using it to attract women. I was pretty upset to learn that George Clooney is posting my photo on his profile. The movie star that you probably think is soooo handsome is not George Clooney at all. It is me!
Well, it is kinda flattering. I ain’t gonna say nothing. Let him enjoy the adoration that is actually the result of substituting my good looks for whatever he really looks like.
Thanks, Catfish, for tipping me off. George was counting on me not being famous enough to be recognized. The jig is up, George. Here is why:
The photo below is of me, not George Clooney. He wants people to think he looks like this. It does make me wonder what George Clooney really looks like.
If this is not me, how do you think I got Miss Sugar, a hot model/Miss Texas, to marry me? Back in the day, she had to meet me in person. I could not fool her with a fake photo so it is a good thing I am this good-looking in person. I took her breath away. I’m used to it though. Not every woman I pass on the street tells me that in so many words, but I can see it in their eyes. I can hear the longing gasps. Welcome to my world.
Isn’t Miss Sugar cute! She takes my breath away! I am thinking about asking her to be my Facebook friend as soon as I get a Facebook account. Of course, if it turns out that this photo is not of her, I’m going to have to unfriend her. (Manti Te’o taught me the importance of having a real girlfriend.) Miss Sugar seems like a fantasy, but in addition to contacting her by email, I have actually talked to her on the phone, not to mention going on a number of dates with her and actually getting married with her. So far, she has checked out as being real. I’m not so sure about George Clooney.
Posted in cultural commentary
and tagged Brad Pitt
, Catfish TV Show
, George Clooney
, Google image search
, internet dating
, Manti Te'o
, social media
, social networking
Prized N.F.L.P.A. Possessions
I have two garments that display the logo for the National Football League Players Association. When I wear them out and about, I imagine that all who see me believe that I am an N.F.L. player, which, if you have been reading my recent blogs about the scouting combine, free agency, and not signing with the Jets, might think could be a possibility in the near future. I do have the size.
However, I will admit in this public manner that I have not actually played in the NFL (yet).
So how did I get the shirt and jacket? Read on.
I was privileged to serve as co-counsel for an attorney who represents NFL players in workers’ compensation cases. Consequently, I got to attend a meeting for the NFLPA Workers’s Compensation Panel. At that meeting, they handed out some NFLPA gear, even to me, who is not in the NFLPA (yet), nor even a real member of the panel. Rather, I was a guest. I felt important. I still do.
Since I already have the official NFLPA gear, my becoming a player would be more financially beneficial to the players’ union than getting as a new member any player who presently lacks an NFLPA shirt and jacket. I could agree to waive receiving further shirts and jackets, already being appropriately decked out. In these hard economic times, the union should support my efforts to get signed by the Broncos because of such savings in clothing costs for the union.
I also have an official NFL Players Association “Player Planner” calendar which gives dates such as when training camps open (July 15th). I like to carry my Player Planner with me to court scheduling conferences so I can check on my availability for hearings and trials. I find that I can read it better when I hold it up in a position that others in the room can read its cover as I slowly turn the pages of the calendar to see what is already on my schedule.
I probably won’t have time to try cases after July 15th until the 2014 Super Bowl is over. The judges and opposing counsel should understand my priorities, and, as Bronco fans themselves, root for me throughout the season.
In the far off future, when my career in the NFL is over, I am going to look into how I can get a shirt that says “NFL Alumni Association.” It will be a good conversation starter at the Senior Center.