Jail Bird Dog
Retrievers are considered bird dogs because they are bred, and should be trained to (guess what!) retrieve birds. They get the birds that hunters shoot, often swimming out to get the birds that fall into a pond or lake. That is their purpose, when given the opportunity.
But who hunts every day? So, during their days off, Retrievers look for other tasks for which they are fitted. Often they fetch balls, sticks, or frisbees. All such activities are appropriate and can be very fun for dog and owner alike.
Beau is a Yellow Labrador Retriever. As I have written in other blogs, he is a water dog. He can swim. He can also pull on hoses and plumbing devices in order to free water that is being otherwise directed for human purposes. https://cowboylawyer.wordpress.com/2013/03/13/the-usual-suspect/
Since getting him from the animal shelter, we have wondered about Beau’s life story. We have wondered why someone did not neuter him, apparently not train him, and give him up to a shelter. We now have a credible theory. Basically, he is an outlaw.
I have written about his sinful nature, including thievery and vandalism. https://cowboylawyer.wordpress.com/2013/04/03/sinning-boldly/
I was recently provided reasonable evidence persuading me that he came from a criminal home wherein he was brought up in a criminal lifestyle by, well, an actual criminal.
Earlier this week, I was talking to a local breeder of Labradors and told her about our Beau. She told me that she might know the very dog. She had, a couple years ago, sold one of her male pups to a woman who then called her a few months ago and asked if the breeder would take back the dog and keep him while that woman served her jail sentence of several months. That convicted criminal’s dog was intact. The dog was about two years old. The dog was, she thinks, Beau.
So, now that he is our dog, and since he was surrendered to the pound when the breeder declined taking care of him during the term of his prior owner’s imprisonment, Miss Sugar does not want to give him back to his criminal past owner. Neither do I.
However, sometimes I am conflicted. This morning, our criminal dog stole Miss Sugar’s shoe, again, and tried to sneak it outside. When I used my lightning reflexes to close the door before the thief could escape, the young delinquent taunted me. He would not bring it back. He ran upstairs. When Sugar got him to relinquish it, even as she was praising him for dropping the shoe, he unrepentantly grabbed a bra that was in the bedroom and ran downstairs with it. He had that evil look in his laughing eyes as he shook the bra like a rag. He was not feeling guilty. He was not sorry. He shows no remorse. He was, and is, per my amateur diagnosis, criminally insane. He might lack the capacity to distinguish right from wrong. Or he could, like Satan, know exactly what is wrong and delight in doing wrong.
Insanity is a defense. Evil intent to deprive another of her property is not. Both types (insane or evil) need to be locked up.
Do we have a duty as citizens of the county to report Beau’s crimes to the Sheriff?
If the District Attorney chooses to prosecute Beau, as the husband of the victim of his crimes, I have an inherent conflict of interest and cannot represent him. Will the Public Defender urge Beau to plead guilty? Must the prosecutor prove “mens rea” (criminal intent)?
What is the sentencing guideline for “Theft of Brassiere?” Is it Grand Theft if the bra is DD?
Assuming that Beau will be convicted (after all, there are two credible eye witnesses), is it feasible to rehabilitate him in prison? If put on probation, is he doomed to fail to meet the conditions of probation? One standard condition is to “refrain from engaging in any unlawful activity.” Does he have it in him to so refrain? He is, after all, a repeat offender.
I need some guidance.