Shootin' the Breeze

and random targets



I write so much about Beau, a trouble-making yeller dog, that I have been accused of making stuff up about him for entertainment purposes.

I deny making up anything that I have written about him.  I have not exaggerated anything that I have written about him.  I have not written about even a portion of the mischief he has caused.  I am not creative enough to make this stuff up.

This very day, within a matter of minutes, Beau committed several misdeeds, which I will describe as they are fresh in my feeble mind.

As I was working in my home office inside our house, Miss Sugar, my lovely yet hard-working spouse, was working within earshot of my office window, vacuuming out the Ford F250 Superduty Supercab pickup.  She was vacuuming dog hair from the truck’s upholstery.  She said she was sick of getting dog hair all over her clothing.  So she was taking matters into her own two lovely hands, the same two hands, each with an opposable thumb, which she uses to play the piano, guitar, and paint.

In addition to using her hands, I noticed that she was using her mouth to express words of frustration concerning the help from Beau that she was not welcoming.  He had volunteered to get back into the vehicle as she vacuumed, presumably to offer a live demonstration of how muddy paws can be just as big of a problem as shedding hair.

The preferred method of vacuuming a vehicle is to leave the doors open for easy access with the vacuuming equipment.  In the case of our equipment and electrical supply source, Miss Sugar parked the truck close to the back porch and ran an electric extension cord from the porch to the truck, which requires leaving the screen door of the porch ajar.  The screen porch contains a cat.  It contains the cat so that Beau does not beleaguer the cat.  We put the cat there out of consideration for its safety.  If it is a smart cat, it will remain on the porch despite the breach of security in the form of an unlatched, slightly ajar door, accommodating the cord.

The danger of doors ajar and doors being open is that Beau, who opens his own crate door with his face, is also capable of opening other doors, allowing ingress and egress to him for areas in which he is not welcome.  For instance, the porch where the cat resides.

As mentioned, his entrance into the truck with dirty paws even as Sugar was vacuuming caused her to sense that she was losing rather than gaining ground.  Her senses were correct.  She was losing ground, as in one step forward, two steps back.  She had brought paper towels into the cab of the pickup, intending to clean the inside of the glass.  Suspiciously, the roll of towels disappeared.  She lost more progress, even the opportunity for progress, when she briefly left the truck and vacuum unattended.  During her absence, Beau took the hand-held vacuum in his mouth and, rather than vacuum the truck, which was, after all, the task at hand, he ran off with it, just because he thought it was funny, I suppose.  Since the cord to the vacuum was plugged into the porch, pulling on the cord so as to unplug it and pull it through the unlatched screen door results in opening the door.  Any cat stupid enough to leave its home, furnished with a bed, potty box, food and water, might find life in the wilderness a challenge which includes coyotes.  Good luck, whatever your name is!

So that is how it went with Miss Sugar’s truck cleaning project.  Of course, after awhile, Beau dropped the vacuum, which was easily located due to the long orange extension cord dragging towards the barn.

When Miss Sugar completed or gave up on the task, Beau turned his attention elsewhere.

Elsewhere is in the courtyard, where we have the hot tub that I mentioned in another blog this week in the context of needing to fix it.  Well, that was somewhat misleading if you inferred from my saying I need to fix it, that I mean me fixing it.  I meant that I would make arrangements for it to be fixed.  The way I made arrangements is for Mitch, who is a handyman, to fix the hot tub.  Mitch frequently builds and repairs stuff here at Cross Creek Ranch.  So today Mitch was working on the hot tub.  Beau decided to check on Mitch’s work.  Personally, I do not see a need to supervise Mitch.  Beau disagrees.

Beau noticed that Mitch was using screws that he kept in a cardboard box, the box in which they were packaged when Mitch bought them.  Apparently, Beau had an idea that the box of screws would be more convenient if relocated, so he picked it up with his mouth, spilling screws, and looked Mitch in the eye to see what Mitch would do about it.  Mitch did exactly what Beau wanted him to do — he tried to retrieve the box.  That, to Beau, was funny.  It is funny for Beau to watch humans fail at catching him as he dodges.

I know what happened because Sugar called for me.  “Beau took Mitch’s hat and is dragging it in the mud.”

You are thinking, gentle readers, that Beau took the box of screws, so what is this about a hat?

Mitch explained to me, when I went outside to assist Mitch with his theft recovery, that as he bent over to get the box out of Beau’s mouth, Beau pulled the old “bait and switch” by grabbing Mitch’s hat right off of his head.

Mitch was laughing.  I am relieved that he and Beau share the same sense of humor.


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10 thoughts on “Beauzo

  1. This is a Good One!!!! It would be so much better if I could just have one cuppa coffee. Can’t have coffee until after the doctor visit…. @ 9:00 AM….. Starbucks here I come for a regular Grande with room for cream later this morning….

    Take Care and God Bless 🙂 Kenny T

  2. Thanks, Kenny. I hope your doctor visit goes well.

  3. Reblogged this on Shootin' the Breeze and commented:

    I have decided to present a “marathon” of Beau stories since many readers seem interested in his personality disorders and there are some new followers who did not read these posts when initially published. I hope they bring some smiles, even to those who have read them before.

  4. That’s hilarious…took the hat right off Mitch’s head. What a funny pup! I love this story too. The marathon of Beau stories gets a thumbs up from me!

  5. deaconmike51907 on said:

    Reblogged this on News With a Catholic View.

  6. Got to love the dog anyway!

  7. I love dog stories. Great Job Beauzo.

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