Shootin' the Breeze

and random targets

An Invitation to Justin Bieber

I was in my study, at my computer, doing something very important, when Miss Sugar called out, “Al, a cow got through the fence, crossed the river, and the dogs are chasing her back across the river again, but in the wrong place.”

So I jumped up immediately, without finishing the internet article about Justin Bieber visiting the Great Wall of China by having two bodyguards carry him on their shoulders up the steps.

Still wearing my lawyer clothes, for I had been in meetings in Fort Collins and Cheyenne earlier in the day,  I shed my suit coat and substituted rubber boots for my dress boots.  Then I walked to the bridge, crossed it, and opened the gate into the area where the cow was anxiously trying to discern a route back to her herd.  (By the way, cows are not known for their discernment.)


The dogs were glad to have my help.  Sugar, however, intervened.  She called them back home, which required them to swim across the river again.  For Labs, that is fun.  They are great swimmers.  As Sugar realized, they are not great herders.  They tend to chase cows further and further away.

I used my discernment and experience to quietly go past the cow before moving her, so as to direct her back towards the gate I had opened rather than using the dogs’ plan of chasing her away.  My plan worked very slick — for awhile.

I got her heading the correct direction along the fence toward the gate, when she decided that she did not need a gate.   She awkwardly achieved her goal of getting through the fence and back to the herd.  It amazes me that large cows can somehow get through a four strand barbed wire fence without breaking the fence or hurting themselves.  Horses can’t do that and they are much more graceful creatures.  They get hung up.  They cut themselves.  Cows are superior escape artists.

Walking back, I thought of Justin Bieber.  It might do him some good to work on a ranch.  Out here we don’t carry other guys on our shoulders unless they are football coaches or star players who just won an important game, and even that is rarely seen.  We don’t carry musicians on our shoulders.  That is where we draw the line.

I invite Justin to come visit Cross Creek Ranch and we will put him to work.  We will supply the rubber boots and work gloves.

Peyton Manning is also invited.  I would gladly carry him around on my shoulders.  He deserves it!


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8 thoughts on “An Invitation to Justin Bieber

  1. “By the way, cows are not known for their discernment.”
    Having grown up on a farm with cattle, I can say a hearty Amen! to that.

    I think I received my first lessons in patience from working with cows. I was a pretty impatient young lad, but I soon discovered that trying to get cows to do anything in a hurry tended to make the job many times more difficult and last many times as long.

  2. She obviously was not the BOSS cow….but she must have enjoyed her little adventure. When she realized you were just spoiling her fun with the dogs, she decided to go back to her own place. Guess that suit will end up in the dry cleaner bag!

  3. Sheep are even less known for their discernment, also speaking from personal experience. That’s why they need a Shepherd…

  4. I hope this link works, sir.

    While I am of a different belief (which doesn’t matter), I hope you will smile at my interpretation of discernment.

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