Shootin' the Breeze

and random targets

Miss Sugar Kicked to the Curb at the Mall

Regular readers of this blog know that Miss Sugar is my lovely trophy wife.  Such persons are probably fans of Sugar on the basis of her qualities and accomplishments that I have described over the course of many posts.  Therefore, you might be alarmed to learn that Miss Sugar was asked to leave our local shopping mall.

I suppose you admirers of Sugar might be guessing that I am the one who asked her to leave the mall — for economic reasons.  No, it was not at my request.  IT WAS AT THE REQUEST OF MALL SECURITY!!!!!!!

Oh, you fickle former fans now are suspecting that Sugar was involved in shoplifting.  Again, you would be wrong.  How dare you even for a moment think such a thing about my wonderful wife.  She’s an angel!

Sugar and Lisa, a young woman from our cowboy church, are singing a duet and playing their guitars at tomorrow’s service.   This morning, Saturday, they met at the mall as a convenient location at which to practice.  Half the vendors at the food court are gone because our local mall is undergoing a big re-modeling project.  It is sad to see the many vacant store spaces throughout the formerly busy mall.  It seemed like a good place to practice, but, as it turned out, it was not.

I had come to town with Sugar.  After we met Lisa in the parking lot and walked to the spot they selected to practice due to the chairs there, I left them.  I left them because, thoughtlessly, they had neglected to invite me to sing with them.  There are many famous musical trios, but, apparently, to these supposedly Christian women, three’s a crowd.

So I went to look for a coffee shop.  I found one far away, at the farthest reaches of the near empty mall.

After having a little treat, I figured I better go back to the ladies to see if they were about finished practicing.  Alas!  When I returned to the food court, they were not there.

A couple of men were occupying nearby seats.  I actually had noticed them there before I left.  I probably noticed them because they were the only other people in the otherwise empty food court area.  So I approached them and asked if they knew where the ladies went who had been singing there a half hour ago.

“The security guard told them that they have to leave,” I was told by one of the men who had formerly been half of the only audience.

“Why?  Because they were disturbing the crowd of shoppers?”

“No.  It just ain’t allowed.”

“What ain’t allowed?  Music?  Downtown there are pianos outside on the street, inviting musicians.  No wonder this place is empty.”

“Well.  The guard told them they were loitering and disturbing the peace and needed to leave.”

“One of them, the older (yet lovely) lady is my wife.  I have the keys to the car.  Where did she go?”

“Out that door.”  He pointed south, past the food court.

I went out the door and found Sugar and Lisa sitting on the curb, literally, singing and playing, oblivious to the “No Loitering” sign posted nearby.  So I set a spell, with my eye peeled for the security guard.  He never found the hideout.  They finished rehearsing and we got in our respective vehicles and left the premises.  A clean getaway!


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11 thoughts on “Miss Sugar Kicked to the Curb at the Mall

  1. Who you trying to kid cowboy you’re a lawyer!!!

  2. Big smile on my face! And I am very pleased your lovely Ms. Sugar was not escorted to prison… for you may be re-visiting that greasy spoon diner looking for Ms. Sugar on that TV. 🙂 You must post a video of their performance one day…with Beau, Holly and Scamp as their backdrop. 🙂

  3. Are potential customers allowed to sit and read? Or just sit? Is that loitering? Does loitering = not actively shopping? Is doing stuff while waiting for someone else loitering? Arguing with mall Security would not be loitering. Q: What would that be? A: bother and time consuming. Glad they didn’t do it.

    Might the theme of the music be what defined loitering? That particular notion seems to be becoming more popular 😦 and harder to identify. —- Then again, maybe the venders not close to the music complained out of jealousy. Whatever the reasons, it was tacky. The Duet rehearsal is probably not tacky, the mall policy is tacky. — Bear

    • Thanks for your outrage. Please contact mall security and voice your support for Sugar. Then boycott the Foothills Mall in Fort Collins, Colorado. (Since you don’t live here, it will be easy for you to join in the boycott.)

      No justice, no peace!

      If President Obama isn’t too busy, he could have a press conference about about how he understands about profiling. Sugar and Lisa were profiled as Christians just because they were singing country gospel, similar to what got Johnny Cash thrown in prison. I might be wrong about that, but he did serve time and he did sing country gospel so there might be a connection. You can look it up.

      • I’m glad Sugar was correctly profiled. 🙂 Last time I checked Google had me profiled as an 80+ year old male Republican. 🙂 🙂 Bizzarro what is happening in the world.

        Haven’t been in a mall since Dear Son III had a Christmas (a notable Christian theme) recital over 20 yrs ago. oops. I did go in a mall with a Barnes and Noble about 10yrs ago to redeem an ‘educator” coupon/discount and to get Dear son IVs tux fitted for Dear Son III’s wedding.

        Guess mall’s don’t have much Christian culture/ folk/classical/historical/gospel/ beautiful/Easter/ glorious/Christmas music anymore? Can’t have all that musicians/potential customers loitering. Looks bad. Slows down the legitimate shoppers. I guess. I don’t know. I’ve been on and extended generalized mall boycott due to the ugliness and inconvenience and lack of usefulness of shopping malls everywhere. Poor acoustics don’t help either.

        Here is a trailer to a surprising well done biographical movie about Johnny Cash (Joaquin Phoenix):

        Reese Witherspoon plays June Carter. Reese and Joaquin can sing!

  4. I saw the movie. Sugar and I went with her parents. Before going, I did not know that Johnny’s brother drowned and his father said something cruel, like, “The wrong son died.” Well, Sugar’s father had a similar experience. His older brother drowned when they were both at the river. My father in law, as the younger brother, really should not have been expected to save Sonny. However, his father continually punished him for the loss. I was uncomfortable sitting with someone who could identify too well with Johnny Cash’s pain.

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