Shootin' the Breeze

and random targets

Intellectual Property

It is frigid across much of the nation.  Even Texas has icy roads and cancelled flights.  Here in Colorado it is cold and snowy.  Cold weather causes many inconveniences.  However, as you have probably heard, “necessity is the mother of invention.”

The necessity which mothered the invention that I invented today was the need to water our horses.  My invention is not of a new device, but the implementation of a combination of existing devices in an ingenious patentable process.  No brag.  Just fact.  We will call this idea “intellectual property.”

I can probably discern a difference between a pleasant 75 degrees and, say, a hot 90 degrees; however, I cannot discern much difference between 5 degrees above and 10 degrees below zero even though the number of degrees, 15 in my examples, is the same.  I believe that is because once I am toooo cold, I can’t get any colder, or feel it anyway.

So, as I walked to the barn, the breath from my nostrils immediately froze my mustache.  I am not capable of estimating the temperature at which that occurs. I did know that the hose, if not properly and completely drained after its last use, would be frozen, meaning that water would not flow through it, preventing me from filling the horse tank.

I remembered being careful to follow my winter routine of draining the hose as I wrap it in coils and hang it from my hose hanger, which I invented in the past and is too complicated to explain to readers who are not engineers and the like.  Suffice it to say that the device aids in my draining the hose process.

Alas, on this very day, after I hooked up the hose to the hydrant in the barn and uncoiled it from the hose holder and placed the other end of the hose in the water tank, then turning on the hydrant, the water did not flow.  Upon examination, I felt the crunch of ice within one of the loops of hose, proving the inadequacy of my attempt to drain it previously.  In such circumstances it is necessary to thaw the hose.

My wisdom about thawing hoses has evolved over the years.  I am embarrassed to say that I have, in the distant past, brought the frozen hose to the house and left it for a period of time in the shower (so as to not make a mess when the thawing occurred).  Then it dawned on me that I could put the entire hose in the horse tank for it to thaw there because the tank is heated by a thermostatically controlled heater that plugs into an electric, well, you know, plug.  (Of course this only works if there is still enough water in the tank to cover the hose.)  In order to plug the heater into the electric plug without endangering the horses, I run the wire down the back side of the tank, in the narrow space between the tank and the outside wall of the barn, so the horses cannot reach it, and through a hole at the bottom of the wall where the electricity dispenser (plug) is attached, running an extension cord from the heater plug to the plug into which the extension plug is plugged.  If you are not an electrical engineer, you are in way over your head.  Nevertheless, those of you in the general public still might get the general idea, provided that you have had experience with electrical devices, such as, for example, plugging in a vacuum cleaner.

Up until today, after thawing the hose and using it to completely fill the 100 gallon tank with water, I would remove the hose from the tank and wind it up as I drained it.  What more, you ask, could be done to avoid the risk of not all water being drained and thus freezing?  I will tell you.

I left the hose in the full tank!  Rather than take it out of the tank, I put all of the hose in the tank after detaching it from the hydrant.  All of it is presently in the full tank, staying at a temperature above freezing.  Why did I not think of this before?  Why has no one in the world ever figured this out?  Amazing.  You are welcome!

Patent pending.

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11 thoughts on “Intellectual Property

  1. That’s a terrific idea, Cowboy. However, I do hope you don’t have a power failure. The power here has been know to go off for four to eight hours and I’d hate to try chipping a hose out of a frozen tank of water. But you folks probably have a more reliable power supply.

    • Good point. In Boulder County, 7,500 houses were without heat, but here in Larimer County, so far, so good. If the electricity goes out, our well does not work, so the horses will have to eat snow and so will we.

  2. Genius thinking…but I find it flawed unless the horse is blind. The flaw I see, unlike the blind horse would be a coiled hose where they drink looking like a coiled snake in the bottom of the water tank. A man of your stature with so lovely a wife deserves a generator on his ranch to power the well pump, and the beer fridge and a reading light or two.

    • I wondered if the hose would scare the horses but they have not boycotted the tank. I guess thirst is more powerful than fear. These horses have been around ropes and even hoses. They don’t scare easy.

      Regarding generators, that is a good idea to have one. Our nearest neighbor has a generator that kicks in when the electricity goes out. I looked into a solar generator to complement our hot water heating system, but the salesman did not impress me as much as the cost. So far, we have just waited out power outages.

  3. You truly are a brilliantologist.

  4. Al and Elizabeth on said:

    Hysterical.
    Loved the ” Patent Pending” statement !

  5. Very complicated. I am glad for your horses’ sakes (and especially for Ms. Sugar’s) that you are the inventor.

    • Well, it is not like working on my ’67 Mustang, which I still miss. I hardly ever used extension cords under the hood while operating the vehicle. This horse tank stuff involves both electricity and water, a dangerous combination better left to professionals such as myself.

  6. Is there any significance to my coming in from the barn and finding Sugar leafing through my life insurance policies?

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