Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Sugar and I went to the gym again today. As I waited for a turn at the pull-up station, a respectful distance away, the guy who just finished doing pull-ups loitered there in front of the mirror on the wall by that equipment. I wondered why he did not just leave to go to his next workout station.
What to my wondering eyes did appear, but a cell phone with a camera. The fellow pointed his camera-phone at the mirror, where his posed image looked back at himself. He took a picture of himself at one angle, then turned so he could get a good shot of his other side. Such photos are known as selfies, I have been told. Kim Kardashian is another narcissist who likes to share photos of herself, taken by herself, in her closet, wearing underwear. So far, I have refrained from emulating her.
Now this guy at the gym might not be merely vain. He might have a scientific purpose. He might be taking separate photos of each tatooed arm in order to monitor his personal muscular growth to ensure symmetry as an aesthetic endeavor for the good of mankind.
“Hey, Sugar. Let me borrow your cell phone.”
When I told her why I needed it, she cracked up, but did not share it with me. It won’t be my fault if one of my arms gets disproportiately bigger than the other. Blame it on Sugar.
Oh, from my observations of the younger gym patrons, I am feeling the peer pressure of needing some tattoos. They will make my future selfies more aesthetically pleasing. Of course, in order for the tattoo artist to get to my skin, I will have to remove all my body hair like the cool guys do. Sugar said she could use it to weave three or four Indian blankets. Then we could sell the blankets to pay our membership fees at the club. She is always thinkin’.