Shootin' the Breeze

and random targets

Archive for the month “February, 2015”

Doggone Bad Dog Gone

The Beau reblog marathon continues. This one describes another aspect of his sinful behavior. Sinful! Unrepentant!

Shootin' the Breeze

Image

Here we go again.  I hope my loyal followers do not mind another story about Beau, our Yellow Lab, and his misdeeds.  Actually, I mind writing about more of his misdeeds because that means I experienced them, which I did, again.

On Sunday evening, Miss Sugar and I made plans to meet another couple for dinner at the local restaurant at 5:30 p.m.  Note that I wrote the local restaurant.  Where we live, twenty miles from town, the restaurant that is closest is at a mountain resort called Western Ridge with cabins to rent, a horse stable, pool, and (this is important) a LAKE.

We drove the pickup and brought the dogs, who were to wait in the pickup per our plan.  When I say the dogs were in the pickup, I mean in the cab, not the bed of the truck from which they could jump out.

Miss Sugar…

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Oops, Beau Did It Again

Continuing the Beau marathon, today I am reblogging a post about a theft from FedEx. Yesterday’s post was about a similar target — UPS. Both really should use armored vehicles when coming to our ranch. Oh, and they better bring enough guys, such as a guard to go along withe the driver/deliveryman. Maybe more….

Shootin' the Breeze

A while back, I wrote about Beau and the UPS Driver.

https://cowboylawyer.wordpress.com/2013/06/04/beau-and-the-ups-driver/

Today, FedEx delivered something to our ranch.  Second verse same as first.

While the delivery driver was on our porch handing my wife the package, Beau was in the truck eating the driver’s lunch.  When are these drivers going to learn to shut their doors when they visit us?

The photo below shows Beau in the truck and his accomplice, Sadie, outside the truck as a distraction I suppose.  (You can enlarge the photo by double-clicking it.)

FedEx

The stolen lunch might have been Beau’s way of helping the driver lose weight. If you are having trouble losing weight, come to Cross Creek Ranch and we can arrange for Beau to eat your lunch every day.

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Beau and the UPS Driver

This is another in a string of Beau stories that I am reblogging so Beau fans may read about his adventures without being interrupted by other subjects.

Shootin' the Breeze

A UPS delivery truck came up the lane to Cross Creek Ranch.  He honked, probably intending to scare the dogs away from the truck so as not to hit them, at least he felt that way at that point in his day.  His feelings changed.

I came outside and the driver got out of his truck to hand me a package.  Foolishly, he neglected to close the door to his vehicle.  It probably did not seem foolish to him, but I know better.  I know better because I know the criminal mind with which we are dealing.

As he chatted with me about two Great Pyrenees who charged him when he delivered to another ranch yesterday, two Yellow Labrador Retrievers took a more subtle approach.  Sadie and Beau went up the steps of the delivery truck and inspected the contents.

Beau picked out something he liked and departed from the…

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Beauzo

I have decided to present a “marathon” of Beau stories for the next several days since many readers seem interested in his personality disorders and there are some new followers who did not read these posts when initially published. I hope they bring some smiles, even to those who have read them before.

Shootin' the Breeze

Skunky

I write so much about Beau, a trouble-making yeller dog, that I have been accused of making stuff up about him for entertainment purposes.

I deny making up anything that I have written about him.  I have not exaggerated anything that I have written about him.  I have not written about even a portion of the mischief he has caused.  I am not creative enough to make this stuff up.

This very day, within a matter of minutes, Beau committed several misdeeds, which I will describe as they are fresh in my feeble mind.

As I was working in my home office inside our house, Miss Sugar, my lovely yet hard-working spouse, was working within earshot of my office window, vacuuming out the Ford F250 Superduty Supercab pickup.  She was vacuuming dog hair from the truck’s upholstery.  She said she was sick of getting dog hair all over her clothing. …

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Beau and Mitch — Psychological Warfare

My loyal readers are aware of our recent house fire. Consequently, we have had workers here at the ranch making repairs. They bring tools. Beau collects tools. They should have talked to Mitch. I tried to warn them.

Shootin' the Breeze

Mitch does work around our ranch when we need help from someone with superior skills to my own, which is frequent.

Mitch is thus familiar with Beau, our male Yellow Labrador RETRIEVER.  I emphasize the word retriever because Beau is a compulsive retriever.  The word “retrieve” sounds more noble than an equally descriptive word, which is “steal.”  The distinction lies in whether or not the object Beau gets is gotten at the request of a person or over the objection of a person.

Mitch was telling me today that Beau took his hat, hammer, and some other tool.  Mitch is catching on, however.  Mitch said that he has learned to act like he does not care because Beau is eager for a reaction.  Mitch explained that if he feigns unawareness that his hat or tool is missing, Beau brings it back.  Apparently the fun for Beau comes from a reaction…

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Plan B: Free Agency

I am reblogging this because it is still applicable — again this year I was not invited to the NFL combine. It is inexplicable, I know, but I believe that my fans want to know why there were no reports on ESPN about my performance at the combine.

Shootin' the Breeze

My previous post described my amazement about not being invited to the National Football League Scouting Combine.  I also offered a possible explanation, which is that the scouts might have seen no need to know more about me than my dimensions since I am the perfect height and weight for an NFL linebacker.  If that important information satisfies them, I need not worry about whether I will be drafted in the NFL draft in April.

Silly as it seems for someone who is the perfect physical specimen to worry, in the event that I am not actually drafted due to some oversight by the 32 teams, it won’t hurt to have an alternative plan.

Plan B is that I can be available as a free agent and signed after the draft.  There is no shame in going that route.

Peyton Manning was picked first in the first round after college. …

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First Kiss

I dusted this one off cuz I talked to my mother yesterday. We both miss my father.

Shootin' the Breeze

My parents first kissed in the backseat of a car in Omaha, Nebraska, on a double-date, while the car in which they were passengers was driven east on Curtis Avenue, between 31st Street and 32nd Street.

I was not present at the time, except as a gleam in my father’s eye, so my information did not come from my own memory.  I learned this fact in an interesting manner.

As a bright and observant young child, I noticed that every time we drove down Curtis Avenue, Dad would quietly smack his lips with a kissing sound and Mom would do the same in response.  Every time.  Maybe I did not have to be so precocious to notice after the millionth time.

So I asked, “Why do you two always make a kissing sound on this street?”

The answer is what I wrote in the first paragraph.

“Yuck!”  I had not…

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Parking Peril

catparking2

In case you cannot read the sign above, it says, “CAT RESCUE PARKING ONLY, VIOLATORS NEUTERED & TOWED.”

George Washington Was A Man Who Prayed

Washington prayer at Valley Forge

Today is President Washington’s birthday. A framed print of the painting of him praying at Valley Forge hangs in my law office. He is a hero of mine, as he is for many, and well he should be.

Below is an article about the story of Washington praying in the woods. Regardless of whether it was witnessed there, many contemporaries have reported that it was President Washington’s habit to pray regularly and fervently. The essence of the story below is that a Tory, being a British sympathizer, came across General Washington praying in the woods, and returned to tell his wife that, based on the sincere faith of General Washington, he believed the British side would lose. There is a more scholarly version below:

“The nearest to an authentication of the Potts story of Washington’s prayer in the woods seems to be supplied by the “Diary and Remembrances” of the Rev. Nathaniel Randolph Snowden, an ordained Presbyterian minister, graduate of Princeton with a degree from Dickinson College. The original is owned by the Historical Society of Pennsylvania. Mr. Snowden was born in Philadelphia January 17, 1770 and died November 12, 1851. His writings cover a period from youth to 1846. In his records may be found these observations, in Mr. Snowden’s own handwriting:

“I knew personally the celebrated Quaker Potts who saw Gen’l Washington alone in the woods at prayer. I got it from himself, myself. Weems mentioned it in his history of Washington, but I got it from the man myself, as follows:
“I was riding with him (Mr. Potts) in Montgomery County, Penn’a near to the Valley Forge, where the army lay during the war of ye Revolution. Mr. Potts was a Senator in our State & a Whig. I told him I was agreeably surprised to find him a friend to his country as the Quakers were mostly Tories. He said, ‘It was so and I was a rank Tory once, for I never believed that America c’d proceed against Great Britain whose fleets and armies covered the land and ocean, but something very extraordinary converted me to the Good Faith!” “What was that,” I inquired? ‘Do you see that woods, & that plain. It was about a quarter of a mile off from the place we were riding, as it happened.’ ‘There,’ said he, ‘laid the army of Washington. It was a most distressing time of ye war, and all were for giving up the Ship but that great and good man. In that woods pointing to a close in view, I heard a plaintive sound as, of a man at prayer. I tied my horse to a sapling & went quietly into the woods & to my astonishment I saw the great George Washington on his knees alone, with his sword on one side and his cocked hat on the other. He was at Prayer to the God of the Armies, beseeching to interpose with his Divine aid, as it was ye Crisis, & the cause of the country, of humanity & of the world.

‘Such a prayer I never heard from the lips of man. I left him alone praying.

‘I went home & told my wife. I saw a sight and heard today what I never saw or heard before, and just related to her what I had seen & heard & observed. We never thought a man c’d be a soldier & a Christian, but if there is one in the world, it is Washington. She also was astonished. We thought it was the cause of God, & America could prevail.’ “He then to me put out his right hand & said ‘I turned right about and became a Whig.'”

Mr. Snowden, as if to emphasize the piety of Washington sets forth in his records that he often saw Washington, that he accompanied seventy other clergymen to visit him on the anniversary of his birth February 22, 1792. Then Mr. Snowden adds:

“I felt much impressed in his presence and reflected upon the hand and wonderful Providence of God in raising him up and qualifying him with so many rare qualities and virtues for the good of this country and the world. Washington was not only brave and talented, but a truly excellent and pious man of God and of prayer. He always retired before a battle and in any emergency for prayer and direction.”

“When the army lay at Morristown, the Rev. Dr. Jones, administered the sacrament of ye Lord’s supper. Washington came forward at ye head of all his officers and took his seat at ye 1st table, & took of ye bread and wine, the Symbols of Christ’s broken body and shed blood, to do this in remembrance of ye L J C & thus professed himself a Christian & a disciple of the blessed Jesus.”

On Stopping In Woods on a Snowy Morning

My wife went for a walk this morning as the snow was coming down. She took all these photos. Note the camouflaged creatures.

camohawk
Red-Tailed Hawk
camoowl
Great-Horned Owl
camocat
Camouflaged Colorado Barn Cat
snow cat
Two-Toned Colorado Barn Cat

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