Shootin' the Breeze

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What Women Want

My Dad and I used to shave together. I started at an early age, around two as I recall.

The house in which I grew up had only one bathroom. My father would get up around 6:30 a.m. So would I. As he shaved at the sink, I joined him. Being too short, I stood on the toilet next to the sink so I could peek in the mirror as we both shaved. Dad used a shaver with real blades. In my early years, say two to six years of age, I used a plastic “electric” razor. It had a thing to wind up and it would make a buzzing noise for awhile. It also had a string attached to it, to act as the “cord” and at the end of the string, instead of an electric plug, it had a suction cup to stick to the mirror or even tile. No need for an outlet.

After we finished shaving, Dad would put on Mennens aftershave. It comes in a green bottle. He would pour some in one of his hands, rub his hands together and kind of slap it on his face. Then he would put some in my hands and I would copy him. That is why we both smelled so good.

When I was in kindergarten, my teacher, Mrs. Grebe, noticed how good I smelled. She did not keep her thoughts to herself. She commented to me about how good I smelled. I already knew it, but I accepted her compliment. I am pretty sure all the girls in the class noticed too. I told my Dad. He already knew. He said that girls like to smell Mennens. It is probably why my mother married him.

So, I kept it up. I continued to use Mennens aftershave. It is probably why my wife married me.

Many of you who have seen photos of my wife and of me have been wondering how I got a beauty pageant queen to go out with me, let alone marry me. I have been told that I married above my station in life. Now you know the secret to my success. No brag. Just fact.
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9 thoughts on “What Women Want

  1. Brings back some memories. I used to shave with a plastic razor that had these little cardboard ‘blades’. Little did I know that I had years of real shaving ahead or I might not have started out so young.

    • Did you use shaving cream to scrape off with the cardboard blades? That would be cooler than my fake electric shaver. I hope that you used aftershave. If you didn’t have Mennens, I guess Old Spice might do. I can’t promise that Mrs. Grebe would have liked Old Spice, but you never know.

  2. Sure it wasn’t that mustache that attracted her?

  3. Lol about the early shaving age. I imagine it was more than the Mennens & mustache that attracted her… the sense of humor might have figured into it. I noticed a boy in 5th grade who wore aftershave!

    • When I was in 5th grade, I was not interested in girls, but I made the mistake of sticking to my habit of applying Mennens, although no longer with my father. A girl in my 5th grade class stuck a note down my back. Imagine my horror to read that she had written that she loved me. I threw the note into the wastebasket. I don’t know if I broke her heart then, but in high school I repented and took her out. She was a popular cheerleader and later was voted Prettiest Girl in our class. I was voted Most Likely to Succeed and successfully fought that girl off, despite the Mennens. It is a dangerous potion. I blame my father for leading me down that path.

  4. I have a beard. Now I know where I went wrong!

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