Shootin' the Breeze

and random targets

Russian Allies

I have heard in the news that Russians have hacked into some voting machines across the nation and altered the outcome of our presidential election in favor of Donald Trump. It sounds very complicated and is even more nefarious if voting machines are not connected to computers into which to hack via the internet, also known, appropriately, as the worldwide web, which, as we know, was invented by Al Gore, who was cheated by hanging chads in Florida, prior to the involvement of Russia in our American presidential elections.

I, for one, am suspicious that the election fraud was not caused by computer hackers from afar but rather by Russian spies among us, who have wormed their way into the offices of election commissioners across the land, posing not only as Americans, but as election workers in the highest positions with access to counting ballots, or I should say, miscounting ballots.

These serious allegations do not trouble me. They teach me. In prior blog posts, I have announced my plan to skip traditional election campaigning to focus on obtaining votes in the electoral college from faithless electors. I have revealed my strategy of raising money by selling influence and using donations with strings attached to bribe electors to vote for me regardless of who wins in their respective states.

Now I see an alternate strategy. That is, I should recruit Russian spies and hackers to help me win the election in 2020.

I have a few years to learn the language in order to make friends with Russian spies and hackers.   It is all falling into place.

“Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.”

I am grateful to Hillary Clinton and her minions for explaining how to win an election.  She can really teach.

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5 thoughts on “Russian Allies

    • That looks like Russian to me. You are the man for the job! How are you at altering ballots? I need a new Russian friend because my good friend, Slava, about whom I have written posts, such as Accidental Coach, passed away a couple years ago, and is unavailable to translate for me.

  1. The training of the officials working the ballot boxes in Detroit has shown that the teacher had little comprehension of “how” to stuff the ballot box. Pushing the document in 3 or 4 times only indicated more people voted……not whom they voted for. Amazingly there was one sealed box where 80% of the “counted” ballets disappeared from the locked and sealed box. There were MAGICIANS at work there. I’d offer my vote for you but you would want a campaign donation, and I am a deplorably poor white woman . If you need a campaign chairman, I would be happy to work for an outrageous salary making horrific claims against the competitors and planting trolls in every garden. Cheers.

    • Maybe we could arrange a contingent fee for your salary as campaign chairman, based on a percentage of donations collected, with a bonus for recruiting Russian spies and bribing electors. Oh, and your other ideas about trolls and maybe fake news are worthy of great compensation, provided your efforts are successful. So the bonus will be paid after a successful election. No victory, no bonus.

  2. Florida will never live down the hanging chads 😛

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