Our dog Beau, although very smart, probably does not have a medical degree unless he got it online while Sugar and I were sleeping. He is more likely practicing medicine without a license. Please do not report him to the authorities. His patients don’t care whether he is a licensed medical doctor.
This morning, one of our barn cats, Booger, showed up on the porch with a torn ear. Sugar was examining it. As she held the cat, Beau came up to consult. He immediately diagnosed the problem and commenced treatment. He started licking the cat’s ear and and it did not mind. It actually appreciated the medical care being administered. It did not try to get away from Beau. Sugar called for me to come and watch. I am now a witness in case you don’t believe Miss Sugar, who is prone to exaggerate Beau’s talents. I saw it with my own eyes. It lasted for several minutes. It could have lasted even longer but Booger’s health insurance plan only covers limited acute care.
Beau might have gently touched on a sensitive subject concerning contraception. Booger does not believe in being neutered. He is very reluctant to use birth control. He does not appear to be a practicing Catholic, yet he is devout about his interest in girls. We have had many deep discussions with Booger about being responsible and to avoid unnecessary procreation. He adamantly insists on using natural methods in his sex life.
We do not have any female cats. He disappeared for a couple days. I surmise that he visited a neighboring ranch that might have female cats. They might have one or more male cats. Someone ripped Booger’s ear. We do not know the circumstances.
Nevertheless, Dr. Beau treated Booger regardless of religious or gender issues. He does not limit his practice to one species. He has licked my foot to treat rough heels. In exchange for room and board, he did not bill me for his services.
Dr. Beau put aside his differences with Booger like the true humanitarian he is. Wait, he can’t be a non-human humanitarian. I guess we will simply call him an animal lover.