It troubles me when Christmas decorations are put up before Thanksgiving. Thankfully, it is now safe to decorate, so Sugar, my artistic wife, put up some lights while I was doing something other than putting up lights outside. Actually, for you critics out there, I want you to know that I offered to help and my offer was declined.
Instead of my help, it is apparent that Sugar was assisted by twelve drunken second graders. I did not actually see the second graders and cannot confirm that they were drunken. It might just be that they were unsupervised.
In truth, Sugar had no help and wanted none. She wanted to express herself in a non-conventional manner. She did. And she does not even drink alcohol. I have not questioned her about hallucinogens. It is like looking at the stars in the sky and identifying constellations. If you look closely, you can see a CC (for Cross Creek) and a sleigh to the bottom right of the top photo. Do you see it? Do you see the mountains above? Do you? Do you see Orion and the Big Dipper? Well, they are not there, so you are just being agreeable. Those of us who are modern artists want to be taken seriously. Don’t patronize us. Well, you can be patrons of Sugar’s art by supporting it financially. Email me about where to mail contributions. Cross Creek Ranch is not yet a 501(c)(3) charitable entity but it definitely is a non-profit organization.
On another note, as a polite and devoted husband, after dinner, which Sugar prepared, I did my part by cutting a piece of pumpkin pie for Sugar and brought it to her, forsaking my own pie. Beau the Criminal Labrador, noted my presence in the dining room and deduced that meant I was absent from the kitchen. He left the dining room and beat me back to the kitchen, where he put his front feet on the counter and started eating the rest of the pie still in the pie plate. I saw him in the act. I saw the teeth marks across the soft pumpkin. I screamed my displeasure. Then I ate the rest of the pie. Dogs’ mouths are cleaner than human mouths, aren’t they?