Shootin' the Breeze

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Archive for the tag “facebook”

A Modest Proposal for World Peace Via the Weiners

I would not bet on a victory for Anthony Weiner in the New York City mayoral election.  However, I have an idea for alternate employment for him and his wife, Huma Abedin.

Mr. Weiner is Jewish.  His wife is Muslim.  His sexting has put more strain on their marriage than merely their religious difference.  Since they are still together, apparently they are both extraordinarily skilled at conflict resolution as well as being experts on Facebook networking.

Huma Abedin works for Hillary Clinton.  Some of you will recall that Ms. Clinton was, until recently, Secretary of State, a job which made her the boss of all American ambassadors to foreign embassies around the world, including Benghazi, Libya.

Huma grew up in Saudi Arabia, where her mother still lives.  She must have knowledge and insights about the troubled Mid-East.

Anthony has, well, “people skills” and is very out-going, to a fault perhaps.

What a team!  I suggest that they be sent to Syria as co-ambassadors.  They can make friends with Assad and bring him around to the American Way.  Maybe they could get him involved with Facebook friends as a way to get his mind off killing rebels AND maybe they could get the rebels in Syria to make friends with Assad through Facebook rather than direct military action.

Who better?

Problem solved.

You’re welcome!

Catfish and Internet Relationships

There was a documentary titled “Catfish” which is about internet relationships.  Now there is a television show on MTV that follows up on the theme.  According to the episode that I saw, some people create false profiles on social media sites.  It is a shame that no one told Manti Te’o, the Notre Dame football player who was the victim of a hoax, to beware of such dangers of social media.  As it turned out, Manti’s attractive girlfriend did not exist.  She was made up by a male pretending to be a young woman.  How disappointing for Manti to mourn the death of a girlfriend who never died because she never lived, except in the imagination of the hoaxster, and, consequently, in the imagination of Manti.

Well, if Manti will watch the TV show Catfish, he can be comforted by knowing he is not the only naive person to be fooled into falling for a person who is not real.  Misery loves company, they say, and there is reported to be lots of misery caused by tricksters on the internet.

You should probably be suspicious if you see on the internet photos of a beautiful woman or handsome man, correspond with such person, but find the object of your affection is unavailable by phone and avoids meeting you in person.  Actually, Manti did talk on the phone with his fake girlfriend, but never actually met her.

One way the guys on Catfish uncover frauds is to use a tool called Google Image Search, which has produced unhappy results when the beautiful image is another person rather than the name using the image.  For example, a homely man could steal Brad Pitt’s image from any of a number of them that appear on the internet and post it on his Facebook as his own.  Women who think the Facebook guy looks like that might contact that homely man, whose picture they are not seeing, and want to chat on Facebook with a person who looks like Brad Pitt.  Of course, Brad is well known so that would probably not work.  What happens is that the fakers find some attractive person, male or female, who is not well known and use that image as their own, expecting no one to recognize the person in the photo who the faker desires to look like.

Understanding the process caused me to fear for the misuse of my own image.  So I “googled” my own image to see if anyone was using it to attract women.  I was pretty upset to learn that George Clooney is posting my photo on his profile.  The movie star that you probably think is soooo handsome is not George Clooney at all.  It is me!

Well, it is kinda flattering.  I ain’t gonna say nothing.  Let him enjoy the adoration that is actually the result of substituting my good looks for whatever he really looks like.

Thanks, Catfish, for tipping me off.  George was counting on me not being famous enough to be recognized.  The jig is up, George.  Here is why:

The photo below is of me, not George Clooney.  He wants people to think he looks like this.   It does make me wonder what George Clooney really looks like.

Image

If this is not me, how do you think I got Miss Sugar, a hot model/Miss Texas, to marry me?  Back in the day, she had to meet me in person.  I could not fool her with a fake photo so it is a good thing I am this good-looking in person.  I took her breath away.  I’m used to it though.  Not every woman I pass on the street tells me that in so many words, but I can see it in their eyes.  I can hear the longing gasps.  Welcome to my world.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Isn’t Miss Sugar cute!  She takes my breath away!  I am thinking about asking her to be my Facebook friend as soon as I get a Facebook account.  Of course, if it turns out that this photo is not of her, I’m going to have to unfriend her.  (Manti Te’o taught me the importance of having a real girlfriend.)    Miss Sugar seems like a fantasy, but in addition to contacting her by email, I have actually talked to her on the phone, not to mention going on a number of dates with her and actually getting married with her.  So far, she has checked out as being real.  I’m not so sure about George Clooney.

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