Shootin' the Breeze

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Archive for the tag “male modesty”

By the Dawn’s Early Light

My trophy wife, Miss Sugar, had a good idea several years ago.  Her idea was for us to build a waterfall in front of our house, on a slope.  So we did.

Here in the Rocky Mountains, God placed plenty of rocks suitable for landscaping.  We have a place on our ranch that is our own personal quarry.  We made many trips with our pickup truck to gather suitable rocks and bring them back to the construction site.

I dug an artisticly shaped hole for a pond at the bottom of the slope.  We covered the pond and waterfall with special plastic liner material from a pond store where all the cool people with  “water features” shop.  We put in a pipe to carry water from the bottom of the pond to the top of the waterfall, powered by an electric pump, also available at the water feature store where the cool people shop.  We ran an electric line to the pump, which pushes the water from the pond back up to the top of the waterfall.  We covered up the liner and the pipe with rocks.  We covered the pump with a piece of driftwood.  It looked natural.  It worked well.  We were cool.  We had a cool water feature. 

We got some goldfish to add to the atmosphere.  The goldfish ate algae in the pond.  They grew fast. 

Also, birds are attracted to our water feature habitat.  Miss Sugar is a bird watcher, so she likes the extra birds.

In addition to the fish and the birds, our Yellow Labrador Retrievers, Max and Sadie, share in the water feature habitat.  Also, rabbits, drink there and, apparently, hide in the rock “cave” we created at the top, out of which the waterfall emerges.  Sadie is aware of the rabbits’ hiding place.  Consequently, she digs around and walks on the rocks and, apparently, disturbs the plastic liner, which has resulted in leaking.  We keep trying to find leaks.  We also have to add water twice a day or the water gets so low that the pump makes a sucking noise.  The sound of the waterfall is soothing.  The sound of a sucking pump has the opposite effect.

We are now on our third pump.  They get clogged up.  Even though we occasionally clean the pumps, they eventually wear out.

By morning light, I can usually hear the pump sucking so I go outside and put a hose in the water feature to refill the pond until the pump stops sucking.  Also, in the morning, I let the dogs out.  (They sleep in the house.)   The dogs and I let Miss Sugar sleep a bit longer.

We live on a road that does not get much traffic.  As a result, I have a great sense of privacy.

Confident in my privacy, I do not take the precaution of emerging fully clothed from the house.  A couple days ago, not fully clothed, I emerged from the house as is my custom, walked down the steps off the front porch, went around to the side of the house, got the hose, and put it in the cool water feature that was sucking air. 

I have always figgered that I could hear any approaching vehicle and hide behind a wall by the water spigot.  That theory depends on the vehicle making a sound.

After I went back inside, I noticed a motor home parked by the bridge.  It is not a camping spot, but I thought maybe someone parked there to sleep.  It is a pretty place.  The occupants were probably still sleeping. 

Then it quickly drove away.  It seems they were awake when I was outside.

Today there were fifty vehicles, including motorhomes, campers, pickups and several luxury cars parked on our road along our fence.  I guess they heard about the cool water feature.

How do I explain this to Miss Sugar?

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