Shootin' the Breeze

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Archive for the tag “mustache”

Robust Stache

Tom Selleck — Mustache Hall of Fame; Sam Elliott — Mustache Hall of Fame; Mark Twain — Mustache Hall of Fame; Albert Einstein — Mustache Hall of Fame; Wyatt Earp — Mustache Hall of Fame; Hulk Hogan — Mustache Hall of Fame.

The men listed above are mustache heroes of mine.  And now, I am prepared to join them in the Mustache Hall of Fame.  I will tell you the basis of my self-nomination.

Yesterday I bought a sandwich at a shop in Old Town Fort Collins, a very hip place, in a college town boasting Colorado State University.  Until then, I had not seen myself as a person with facial hair to which others aspire.  What changed my self-image?

The sandwich shop has a line from the sandwich makers to the cashier.  The cashier was a clean-shaven young man.  As I paid my bill, he said, “I want to comment on your mustache.  I really like it.”

“Thanks,” I cleverly responded with appropriate humility.

“I am clean-shaven now, but I used to have a mustache that kinda went down around my mouth like yours.  I gave it up because, well, mine was not as, as, I’d say as robust as yours.”  Robust?  The kid was obviously an English major.

I could see the admiration in his eyes.  I did not want to act superior.  I did not want to give false encouragement.  I tried to find the right words.

“Aw, shucks,” I eloquently began, “It don’t happen overnight.  Be patient.”

I think I gave that young man some hope.  Maybe someday, if he works diligently at proper cultivation of his whiskers, he too can find a place in the Mustache Hall of Fame.  Of course, there are no guarantees.  It is a pretty select group.

robuststache

KarenAndAlAtCrossCreekRanch

It is a special touch to have the tips highlighted in silver.  Some of us have it, some of us don’t.

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Movember Cheat

Movember is celebrating its tenth year as the global men’s health charity.  Movember encourages men to grow and women to support the Mo (moustache) for the 30 days of November to raise funds and awareness to combat prostate and testicular cancer.  Men and women across the US register at Movember.com to become official participants of the Movember movement. As the rules of Movember state, once registered, Mo Bros (male participants) start November 1 clean-shaven in honor of Shave the Date and grow a moustache, and just a moustache (no beards, no goatees) throughout the month. Mo Sistas (female participants) show support by organizing teams of Mo-supporters, hosting events, and raising awareness and funds for the cause. I will appreciate your support, not just for me as a participant, but for men’s health worldwide.

While I support the cause of men’s health, and support the style choice of wearing a mustache, I hesitate to follow the contest rule of starting November clean-shaven.  I have decided to compromise my morals by breaking the strict rule.  Rather than start clean-shaven, my compromise is to show my support for the worthy movement by pledging to expand my existing mustache boundaries.   I justify this as meaning that I will grow more mustache hair with the result of increasing the amount of total mustache space in the world.

I know what you are thinking.  You are thinking, “Just anybody can say that he increased amount of square inches of mustache on his face.  Prove it!”

I will prove it by posting an October 26th photo of myself (with Miss Sugar, who is not participating in the contest) and another photo at the end of November/Movember.  I apologize that my side of the photo is “fuzzy” (get it?) due to the lighting.Image

Note that my mustache boundaries presently fall within the creases, formerly known as dimples, on my face.  The intended expansion will be beyond the creases and below the jawline.  The new flared shape will give my horseshoe style a new flair.

Okay, I’m back with the results of weeks of whisker-growing.

WyattCarlsonStache
Mustache

Beauty Tips from a Cowboy

I nearly had a conversion experience while shaving today.  I had inspiration for looking into becoming a Muslim or Hindu or one of those religions that have members wear veils.  My inspiration came when looking at my rugged face in the well-lighted bathroom mirror.   As a result of that revelatory experience, I have concluded that I would be much better looking behind a veil.

Upon further research into world religions, I found that it is the womenfolk who wear veils, not the fellas.  I’m not ready for a sex change operation, although I live in a convenient location because I have heard tell that such surgeries are available in Trinidad, Colorado, just a few hours away from where I reside.

Miss Sugar, my beauty queen/model wife, is the person who first helped me realize the advantage of hiding my face.  Several years ago, she made the suggestion that I grow my mustache to go around my mouth so as to hide some wrinkles that had developed as I matured.  The point she was subtly making seems to be that the more of my face that is hidden, the better I look.  So I accommodated her since she is the person who has to look at me the most.

mustache al

When I told her about the gender-changing drawbacks to me qualifying to wear a veil, she pointed out the obvious.

“You don’t need a veil.  Just wear a bandana around your face like outlaw bandits do.  That would go better with your hat anyway,”  she wisely explained.

“What about my eyes, squinting like the Marlboro Man from years of riding the range?  I don’t want surgery like Bruce Jenner and Joan Rivers had.”

Again she offered a simple solution.  “Wear sunglasses, Silly!”

So here’s the look Miss Sugar recommends for me when she takes me out in public.

bandit

The only trouble is, they won’t let me in the bank.  I look quite handsome on the sidewalk though.  I can tell from all the stares.

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