Shootin' the Breeze

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Archive for the tag “New York Jets”

Prized N.F.L.P.A. Possessions

I have two garments that display the logo for the National Football League Players Association.  When I wear them out and about, I imagine that all who see me believe that I am an N.F.L. player, which, if you have been reading my recent blogs about the scouting combine, free agency, and not signing with the Jets, might think could be a possibility in the near future.  I do have the size.

However, I will admit in this public manner that I have not actually played in the NFL (yet).

So how did I get the shirt and jacket?  Read on.

I was privileged to serve as co-counsel for an attorney who represents NFL players in workers’ compensation cases.  Consequently, I got to attend a meeting for the NFLPA Workers’s Compensation Panel.  At that meeting, they handed out some NFLPA gear, even to me, who is not in the NFLPA (yet), nor even a real member of the panel.  Rather, I was a guest.  I felt important.  I still do.

Since I already have the official NFLPA gear, my becoming a player would be more financially beneficial to the players’ union than getting as a new member any player who presently lacks an NFLPA shirt and jacket.  I could agree to waive receiving further shirts and jackets, already being appropriately decked out.  In these hard economic times, the union should support my efforts to get signed by the Broncos because of such savings in clothing costs for the union.

I also have an official NFL Players Association “Player Planner”  calendar which gives dates such as when training camps open (July 15th).  I like to carry my Player Planner with me to court scheduling conferences so I can check on my availability for hearings and trials.  I find that I can read it better when I hold it up in a position that others in the room can read its cover as I slowly turn the pages of the calendar to see what is already on my schedule.

NFL calendar

I probably won’t have time to try cases after July 15th until the 2014 Super Bowl is over.  The judges and opposing counsel should understand my priorities, and, as Bronco fans themselves, root for me throughout the season.

In the far off future, when my career in the NFL is over, I am going to look into how I can get a shirt that says “NFL Alumni Association.”  It will be a good conversation starter at the Senior Center.

(I Will Deny the Tweets That) I Won’t Sign With The Jets

Those of you who are professional football fans are already aware that the New York Jets are looking to trade Tim Tebow.  I hear there are conversations among some of the teams while owners and general managers are hanging out at the National Football League Scouting Combine.  As I have mentioned in a previous blog, I was not invited to attend the combine as a potential player.  Well, I am not a team owner, scout, coach, general manager, or V.P. for Personnel either, so I stayed home.

Now I am concerned that they are talking behind my back.  No one has tweeted me about it, yet I have a funny feeling that I just might be the subject of some wheeling and dealing.  As I wrote a couple days ago, I have been blessed with the perfect dimensions for an NFL linebacker — 6’2″, 247 lbs.  What a specimen of manhood!

Now Tim Tebow ain’t too bad himself.  He has great athletic ability.  He won a  Heisman and two national championships in college.  Nevertheless,  he has had some trouble finding a spot as a quarterback.  He tries really hard.  Still, the NFL is a tough place to get a job.  Some of us have it, some of us don’t.  (That is merely a figure of speech, of course.  I am not actually including myself in the part about “some of us don’t.”  I just like to sound modest.)

I hope some team is not planning to draft me as a linebacker just to position themselves to trade me to the Jets for Tebow.  Therefore, in fairness to all, I am taking this opportunity to declare one of the terms of my future contract.  That is, I have geographical demands.  Feel free to tell the world via your Twitter accounts.  You may have the sports news scoop of the day.  The following inside information is hereby being leaked to the sports media, then I will deny it.

I might be limiting my draft value by saying this, but I will refuse to sign with the Jets.  I don’t want to be coached by Rex Ryan, for one thing, but the real reason is that I have livestock to care for here in Colorado.  I am willing to commute to Bronco headquarters at Dove Valley during the season.  I understand that there will be occasional overnights for away games.  I can make arrangements for those times.  But I can’t go back and forth to New York every day.  Realistically, the Denver Broncos are the only team I want to play for.

Sure, there are teams located in many nice cities.  I don’t want to offend anyone.  I just am trying to be practical and realistic.  I trust that this announcement will be appreciated as it is intended to save the other 31 teams from futile attempts to draft me or trade for me or sign me as a free agent.  Then again, if they offer me a real good deal….

It might hurt me to have slightly tipped my hand.  I want to be honest with the other owners.  I will simply await getting that call from Mr. Bowlen, the owner of the Broncos.  Don’t tell him I said so, but I would probably sign for the league minimum if he throws in a Ford F250 King Ranch diesel pickup.  (I got that idea from Walt Garrison, who negotiated a horse trailer as part of his signing bonus.)  See link below.

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