Shootin' the Breeze

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Archive for the tag “slinky stinky”

Rule Breaker

Miss Sugar and I stayed at a campground the past three nights.  This was our first RV adventure since last fall.  It started out sort of like our first RV adventure as re-posted yesterday, the one about the stinky slinky.

We hooked up the trailer and discovered a flat tire.  I thought that was no big deal.  After all, we have four wheels on the trailer and four more on the truck.  One out of eight ain’t bad.  Miss Sugar, a cautious traveler, wanted the tire changed.  That delayed our departure.

When we got to the campground, I broke the jack, again.  Maybe I don’t know my own strength.  Or, maybe I don’t know which way is up (and which way down).  No big deal.  We got the trailer hitch raised off the pickup with a hydraulic jack some experienced camper had with him.  I appreciated the help, even though I think only wimps rely on hydraulic jacks.  I prefer using the muscles that God bestowed upon me.

The campground had a building with showers and toilets, which I prefer to using the facilities in the camper trailer for reasons explained in the stinky slinky story referred to hereinabove.  So I entered the building.

Above the toilet provided by the campground was a sign that almost threw me off my plan.  It said:

“Please put TOILET PAPER ONLY in the toilet!  Do not put in ANYTHING ELSE.    Thank you, THE MANAGEMENT, Manor RV Park”

How did they know that I was planning to put more than toilet paper in Manor RV Park’s toilet?  Well, I was planning to do that, like I always do when nature calls.  In fact, that was my very reason for entering the building and the stall housing the sensitive toilet.  Some of you gentle readers might know the feeling that I was feeling.

Can you keep a secret?  I broke that particular rule.  Please don’t tattle on me.  It was such a nice place, we’d like to camp there again, if allowed.

RVing further

Back in September, I posted Stinky Slinky and Miss Sugar, which described our adventure renting a camper trailer (RV).  We, and by we I mean Miss Sugar, decided to shop for RVs.  She is the chief executive and I am in a role of giving advice and consent to the decisions.  So we went together to shop for RVs. 

We found a real good deal.  By purchasing our used RV trailer “as is,” we not only lowered the purchase price but slyly avoided the complication of bringing it back pursuant to a warranty.  We prefer to pay for repairs ourselves and leave out the middleman. 

I have previously described my vast experience of hooking up horse trailers, so you will not be surprised that I waived any assistance from the dealer when we paid for the RV trailer.  What kind of a cowboy would accept advice from an RV salesman concerning the proper manner to hook up ANYTHING to MY PICKUP?  “Just point me the way,” I says, “and I will hook up and head for home.”  Which, by the way, I did, pretty much successfully.  I say pretty much successfully,  because Miss Sugar pointed out one petty little failure on my part, which was that I left the little wheel below the hitch where it was.  Well, not where it was when it was on the ground in the dealership lot.  I raised it a few inches above the roads so we drove home  on the Interstate Highway without it scraping the highway at a high rate of speed.  However, I did not properly calculate the height necessary to drive over a speed bump in the McDonalds parking lot, nor the portions of our very own lane where a wheel placed where I had placed our trailer hitch wheel scraped bottom.  But in case you are wondering, I did not even bend it and, anyway, after we got home, Miss Sugar figured out how to remove it during times of travel. 

That was not the only thing Miss Sugar figured out.  She studied the the owners’ manual and joined an RV forum on the internet.  She cleaned the trailer and contacted a man to come show us how to work all the RV devices.  In case you are worried that I did not pull my weight, let me recount that it was ME who carried a mattress to exchange with the mattress in the trailer and it was ME who hooked up the water hose and plugged in the electric cord.  It was the handy man, who, in demonstrating how everything worked, uncomfortably pointed out that not everything did work.  Who needs the water pump to actually operate?  We decided that we did, so we paid our new friend to replace it.  And we also elected to replace the corroded battery cable and fuse socket.  As I said above, we preferred to pay $500 for those repairs rather than, as fools do, use a warranty. 

And another thing, had we not bought the RV “as is,” the dealer would have cleaned out the “black tank.”  For the uninitiated, the black tank is the self-contained sewer of the RV, if you will.   What this means is that rather than allow the dealer to deal with the waste of those who traded in the trailer, we got to empty it.  Now in an RV park, there is a place to hook up the stinky slinky hose.  On our ranch we neglected to install RV hook up facilities.  Consequently, Miss Sugar gladly emptied the fecal matter of strangers into buckets so that we were able to fertilize a portion of our property.  Most RV buyers don’t think of that bonus.  They are not professional negotiators such as me.  I am a lawyer.  I have been around you know.  I can sling the sh-t, figuratively and literally.

I am available, for a reasonable fee, to serve as a consultant for those of you contemplating the purchase of an RV camper trailer.  I will help you get a real good deal.

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